newboyfridge

our bodies come together
still searing, warm
i leave trails of kisses, leg to cheek
meet your mouth, a shared air, heat
as your mouth begins to turn upward around its edges
i lay my head upon your chest
kissing the place between your breasts
as you caress the back of my neck with your slender hands
with ear now placed over heart
i listen to the pounding,
a quick rhythm, at first
that overtime, slows to a sweet steadiness

5:45 a.m.

I wish I could recognize the difference
wish I could notice the change, like
your eyes, turned
void of love, life,
and understanding
you pierce right through me
as if I were consumable
faulty, frail
as he smiles and you bless him with your kiss
i am a fool
you all made me a fool
as you bound my hands with your actions
as you lashed my back with your tongues
i am made inferior
i am made, remade, and shaken
shaking off the stings of a painful dream
after I have hardly woken

i spend my time reading others’ lines
rummaging through the ashes
searching for the faintest hint of an ember
to light this fire
all the while
a whisper, mutter
that will never be heard
that echoes, resonates
then fades
a dream, a vision, dead
in just a moments time
lost

you soar
weaving, magnificent
natural
over all that I know
yet, you are transcendent
a phantom of flesh
an apparition
my personal zenith

while we were in bed
woven together, like vines on the wall
i filled the room with words and letters
questions, but never answers
i paced through my plagued mind
tracing your hips with my fingertips
and it was enough
for you to just simply be there
to exist with me

dirty hands
been in the earth too long
trying to dig out
from under this
guilty hands
been on the earth too long
need to get out
from under this

27 Sep 2012

i want to live like the air through the trees
live with movement and flow
breathing in this morning breeze
if i could learn their dance, maybe i could finally let go
fallen leaves slide over the lot
pushed under my wheels, caught
as i rest my eyes and think about when you were mine
when i would make you laugh
when you would make me smile
replaying it all in my mind, a time
when we were together
a time
when everything felt right

i always find your name
when it’s late
and i start forming thoughts
words
songs that are birthed from my heart
that weigh heavy on my mind, but
hold no weight here
all of these things i want to say
but don’t
fear and self loathing
it’s turned my world to grey
it’s turned your face away
i don’t think i’ll ever see it,
ever see you again

i hate you
and everything is turning grey

i hate you

my mouth is kept shut, these days
there’s just too much hatred and anger
the world has had enough, already
so it settles in the back, drains down my spine
and over time
it will straighten and become hard
so that i can look you in the eyes